sirius black making no less than 37 deer related jokes in his best man speech
Deerly beloved, family, and friends, it behooves me to deliver this speech to two of the purest harts I know, two individuals so fawned of each other that it completely bucks the notion of superficial love.
Doe they will surely go through many trials and tribulations in the years ahead—many high and low points; stag-nant periods, when their love seems fallow—I know, as someone who knows them best, that they will not allow themselves to fall into a rut.
When it’s all over, and people are sitting around telling tails of these two, they’ll be telling each other the purest love story anyone has ever herd.
ok so what if Harry and Neville got into like this passive-aggressive lie-off regarding what a truly great man Severus Snape was like they got drunk and Harry was like ‘Snape though’ and Neville was like ‘I know right’ and Harry was like ‘what a… what a fantastic bastard. What a guy.’ and Neville was like ‘we should fuckin’ get him like, like… let’s have a funeral. A huge fucking fuck-off sized funeral with like, lilies, and, a marble coffin, and a big statue, an’ crying women, an’ all that shit’ and Harry got whiskey up his nose laughing so hard and he falls off his stool and just wheezes 'lillies'
and then during the funeral Neville and Harry like spend the whole time trying to give a better eulogy like they keep getting back up after each other are done to try and have another go at it but then they get schooled by Hermione being like ‘for fuck’s sake boys this is how it’s done’ and she goes up to the podium and just bursts into wild banshee hysterics and throws herself across the glistening marble casket, sobbing ‘oh, it should have been me, would to god that it were me, you stallion of a professor’ and all the reporters tear up a little and then go home to pen really fervid biopics on this bleakly noble and tragically overlooked hero of the revolution
anyway like eighteen years later Harry names his kid after Severus and sends an owl off to Neville like ‘your move, mate’ and Nevill pauses in the middle of polishing the giant marble statue of Snape tenderly cuddling an armfull of adoring woodland creatures that dominates like 2/3 of his office to cuss a lot and pour himself another drink
- me: wow I'm fat
- me: maybe I look ok
- me: I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM
- me: I'm fucking disgusting I'm losing weight now
- me: I am more than just my weight!
- me: who the fuck cares about anything
- me: I AM SO FAT.
- me: idk curves are beautiful i am beautiful
- me: i hate myself
It doesn’t escape me for one moment that so much joy in my life is thanks to so much pain in someone else’s. So I want to salute the spirit of Patsey for her guidance. And for Solomon, thank you for telling her story and your own.
Lupita Nyong’o (via sonofafieldnegro)
this is so important. too many actors fail to thank the people they play on screen. They often think they are those people and that they have actually done something through acting a part. Lupita knows the importance of playing the role of Patsey, but she always pays tribute to this real historical person and all the Patseys who have suffered. Lupita reminds everyone that Patsey is very real. That Solomon Northrup’s story is very real. This history from this movie is real and we must not forget. Thank you, Lupita. You’re an angel.
10 trans actors who weren’t offered Jared Leto’s role in “Dallas Buyers Club.”
What men don’t understand is that women are FIERCELY PROTECTIVE of underage girls because we remember when we were young and some adult man made us uncomfortable or manipulated us or was inappropriate with us and we were powerless.
"No he will NOT be having the broccoli on the side," Dean says, handing the menu over to the waitress. "He’ll have fries."
Sam’s eyebrows inch up, but he says nothing. Castiel huffs at having his order changed for him, but doesn’t protest.
The degree to which Sam’s eyebrows inch up increases incrementally every time they eat out. Any time Cas orders broccoli or beans or any cabbage related food, Dean changes it. He’d say it was Dean being overly combative about health food, but he doesn’t seem to mind when Cas gets fruit or salad.
"Okay, what gives?" he finally has to ask when Dean switches out Castiel’s order of coleslaw for mashed potatoes.
Castiel bristles, and if Sam isn’t mistaken, his cheeks turn a little pink, too.
"Broccoli gives him gas," Dean replies easily enough, unaware or uncaring that Cas seems to be a little embarrassed by this. Or angry.
Sam blinks a few times, trying to make sense of it. They aren’t in the car enough for that to matter much. Not enough to change Castiel’s food choices. They’re usually back at the bunker when they aren’t killing something, and he hasn’t noticed Castiel having any problems with gas. Something still doesn’t add up.
"So?" Sam has to ask.
Of course he has to ask. Now Dean’s a little pink in the cheeks too, and Sam suddenly isn’t sure he wants an explanation.
"We share a bed, Sam," Castiel finally supplies for him. His shock at that revelation is tempered when Castiel shoots Dean a bitch face to rival Sam’s own and adds, "At least I can order something besides broccoli. IF ONLY SOMEONE COULD STOP DROOLING ON ME.”
Dean sinks a little under the table at the sudden outburst.
Sam supposes, as he laughs until his lungs hurt, that there were worst ways to find out your brother and an ex angel of the lord were sleeping together.
I don’t remember writing this. XD
You have not experienced torture until on a cold cold night, the man you love mumbles “booty booty booty booty” in his sleep as he determinedly smashes his icy cold booty against your crotch. The thin cotton pj pants were not enough.
Oh my god, our Changeling game this month. Tumblr, I am aware what it’s like when people want to talk about their (LA)RPing characters, so I am going to put this behind a read-more, except for the important part, which is:
Damn, psychick gives good game.
I concur. Good game. Also, Fawn, I love you. Good luck on your quest. Gris may (or may not) be waiting.
GM: You put on the hat, and you feel smarter
Gladiator: That’s good because you look stupid
there is not a better feeling than someone playing with your hair
Or running their fingers down your back.
Unless you thought you were alone.
people that scream during acoustic performances